Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Sometimes I wish I had a really big rock.

If I *did* have a really big rock right now, I would be able to smash the car five stories down from my office whose alarm has been !@#$ing going off for HALF AN HOUR.




Aaaaaaaah. It just stopped.




GOD DAMN IT. It just started again.

What, exactly, is the point of car alarms, again? I just ask because I would totally cheer someone who stole that car right now.

67 comments:

Tori said...

I feel your pain. The fire alarm in our building has been having issues and going off whenever it darn well feels like it, and we have one of those alarms that deaf people can hear BECAUSE ITS THAT LOUD. Including for about 45 minutes yesterday when I was home trying to write a paper draft and it was going off in one minute intervals. I nearly jumped off the balcony.

Grendel said...

I would A) Vandalize the car. Kind of like smacking a crying child. If it's going to go off, might as well be for a reason.

B) Set a fire in the building. Again, if the damn thing is going to go off, might it ought to be for a reason.

"Oh no. I burned all my books and papers. . . How'm I going to study for my exams?"
Fritz the Cat.
:)

Witty said...

You're back!!! I missed you :)

(no, not you Grendel ;) )

Tori said...

we all missed you:D I've also been wicked busy, so I figured you were just trying to get head back above water. Welcome back!

College Glassblower said...

literally getting your head above the water... and what did i totally miss that you went away to? or am i just supposed to read that you haven't written in a while? well anyway... yeah, except for the useful car alarms that only go off when someone is actually trying to break into your car, they are useless and annoying... and yes, those stupid fire alrams are annoying, we have them in our building and they went off this pat saturday, right after i had gotten back from the damn DENTIST! as you can tell, not the best time, if i had had a hammer they would have been TOAST!

Tori said...

I'm still intrigued by the idea of a 'hemp' bridal gown...(footnote to the posting on kinting two down from here, for those who missed it)

Although being a giant doobie at your own wedding would sort of stink.

College Glassblower said...

just a little... plus it would be really really itshy and uncomfortable...

Tori said...

Also, i got used to sleeping with car alarms going off in St. Petersburg bc EVERYONE has one, but they all have really cheapie ones (on cars that are probably worth less than the alarm itself cost), and the trams going through the city cause enough ground-shaking to set them all off. Yar.

Hate those things.

Grendel said...

I'm just bummed that I'm not missed. . .

:)

And now that all the drug talk has probably popped this blog up to the FBI. . .

Kate said...

Dude, I already had an FBI file--I used to live down the street from M. Albright when she was still in the Cabinet. They might as well add this to it.

College Glassblower said...

hehehe... kate has an FBI file... highly amusing...

Grendel said...

I don't even have one of those.

That I know of anyway. . .

College Glassblower said...

yeah, well...

Tori said...

~snicker~ I'd LOVE to know what they've got in my file. I mean, I spent four years in DC, also near M Albright's house, thentwo years in RUSSIA. Yeah. And almost went native while I was there. Yup, I'm sure I've got me a file.

Grendel-you sure you wanna hang with us notorious types?

Witty said...

Tori - If they're smart they have a whole filing cabinet on you...

Tori said...

~snicker~

Vika said...

sigh...I give.

Grendel said...

I can reasonably assure you that I've hung out with and almost certainly done, worse than anyone here. :)

Vika said...

Maybe, but you can't be totally sure of that :D

Oh, btw, SWMBO, I was just a bit bored and trolling through past postings-I saw the one on Half-Moon Pose, and nearly peed myself laughing, because I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN. And I have short arms for my body, which only irritates me when I overbalance in yoga. Yar.

Grendel said...

Neither can I be sure of both the location and velocity of an electron at the same time. But I can make a pretty reliable guess. :)

Vika said...

~snicker~ Well, if we ever meet in person maybe we can swap stories. There are things that oughtn't be put in print.

College Glassblower said...

yes, please do not put them in print...

Vika said...

~laughing maniacally~

Do't worry.

BTW: A note of thanks to SWMBO. The subscription you gifted me at Xmas time to FOOD has been well received and some of the issues are somewhat worn from overuse :D

Kate said...

You mean EVERYDAY FOOD, right?

College Glassblower said...

i don't worry... i KNOW! and could SWMBO possibly try and get mom to actually USE hers? they just sit there!

Vika said...

Yah, EF. They have these chicken recipes in the latest issue...wow. I haven't had chicken tetrazini for YEARS. Although mom must have seriously modified it when she used to make it-that recipe has both peas and mushrooms. Methinks mom's plan was to NOT poison half her offspring.

And Jon made the chicken tenders recipe last night...I'm still salivating just thinking about how yummy those were!

Vika said...

Hey, CG, you could make stuff, too, we all know you can cook just as well as we can.

College Glassblower said...

yes, and when i have a kitchen instead of a goddamned MICROWAVE i will do just that! i do not live at home dumbass!

Vika said...

Yah, but you do visit-I know how weird it is to use their kitchen though, even when I was still living there I felt like I wasn't really able to cook there.

Hey, what's with the venom?

College Glassblower said...

yeah, i go home like not at all now... they come here with anything i need!

Vika said...

Oh, well, then you don't eat there anyway. Maybe next year you'll be in a dorm with a kitchen, or living in a house with some friends. Then you can cook.

College Glassblower said...

no i will have an apartment with a kitchen...

Vika said...

Still works.

Grendel said...

CG should just make some sort of cooking vessel, maybe out of glass. :)

Vika said...

Hey, you could make an indoor heatproof glass fireplace and cook on that!

College Glassblower said...

if only i had the money and it was allowed in the dorms... plus, it would be hard to make something heatproof enough to cook on would be hard without special elements to include in the glass, which would cost a bundle...

College Glassblower said...

if only i had the money and it was allowed in the dorms... plus, it would be hard to make something heatproof enough to cook on would be hard without special elements to include in the glass, which would cost a bundle...

Grendel said...

Maybe some sort of double boiler so you could cook with the radiant heat from the water inside the microwave. . .

Alternately, remove the female end of an extension cord (hey, they really name things this way, it's not may fault.) Preferably one without a ground (third plug). There will be two wires, separate these wires, leaving plenty free then strip about 3 inches of the insulation off each. Insert each wire into a hot dog at opposite end. Plug the male end of the hot dog into the wall. The hot dog will be done in approximately 1 and half seconds. Less if you put the wires too far in, but then the hot dog will be done all over the room.

Kate said...

It's true. Also, this is a really fun (albeit not *safe*) way to explode a potato.

Theoretically, of course.

Grendel said...

Or a mouse.

I mean, theoretically of course. . .

College Glassblower said...

you people are strange...

Grendel said...

We come out in the rain?

/42 for the win! Yes!

Vika said...

Do I dare? I don't know...It's a moral choice to break the sacred 42...shall I? Should I.....

Sigh


Oh well, I think I will!!!

I bet if you check on Youtube you can find video of all these things (up to an including the mouse? I hope not!) being blown to bits!

College Glassblower said...

you all have problems... very amusing problems, but problems nonetheless...

Vika said...

Eh. I'm sure.

Grendel said...

Well, since someone else did it. . .

There's already been Youtube videos of such things as kids setting a turtle on fire (twice, they wanted a better take) then dancing around it.

Since the little geniuses made sure to get their faces in the tape, they all got prosecuted.

So there was at least a happy ending.

The turtle, of course, tried to stop drop and roll, but got stuck on his back.

(I'm going to hell)

Witty said...

The best is the flaming pop tart.

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~gmbrown/tart/

Vika said...

Okay, flaming pop tart...I'm going to have to remember to look that up when I get home. I don't like poptarts anyway!

Grendel said...

That sounds like some sort of sexual preference slur. . .

"Shove off, ya flaming poptart. . ."

Vika said...

It would have to be in a Cockney accent, of course, so that it would be nearly indecipherable...LOL!

Kate said...

Well, working-class London, at least. Although, a Scottish accent would totally work.

Vika said...

oh, yeah, or a really strong aussie one. I can't see an E Euro calling someone a 'flaming poptart', though, nor a German or Franch-type person...

Vika said...

French. Sorry :D

College Glassblower said...

oh you flaming poptart... someone had to say it!

Vika said...

Mwah? A Flaming Poptart? Hmmm...perhaps someone should say something to Jon....

College Glassblower said...

yes, well...

Vika said...

Hahahaaaa...she's flabbergasted!!!!

Witty said...

Franch bread, Franch dressing, and to drink, Peru....

College Glassblower said...

um, not flabbergasted, agreeing that john should know... and insinuating something...

Vika said...

Wow, CGB, that's pretty bold :D

Anything Jon would need to know he probably already knows. And I'm not saying any more than that.

Witty said...

Eeewwwwww.....

Witty said...

I'm really sad that no one picked up on the Better Off Dead reference :(

College Glassblower said...

if that is a movie, i have never seen it.

Vika said...

Sorry, I missed that one, haven't seen Better Off Dead.

Witty said...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!?!?!

College Glassblower said...

okok i will try to watch it while i am home this weekend for break, between the easter festivities and writing that 9 page paper...

Vika said...

WHAAAT...I've said in the past that I usually only watch commercial-free TV, which usually means whatever is decent on the movie channel or On Demand. Recently we've taken to unplugging the cable so I get more homework done.